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July 2nd, 2002

A teacher of mine always said there is no such thing as stupid questions, only stupid people. I would like to believe in a less cynical viewpoint, but then I get a question like the first one and it makes me wonder. Want to ask me your own question? I promise Iíll answer it no matter how stupid it, or you, may seem to beÖ

Q: why can"y ps2 play onps1 (exactly how it came in my inbox, punctuation and all.)

A: This person is either really young, mentally disabled, or a little on the "duh" side. Either way the answer remains the same: because the two are completely different machines. Although the PS2 shares a lot in common with the PSone, like the ability to play itís games or use itís peripherals, the PSone shares little to nothing in common component-wise with the PS2.


Q: You are on the 15th floor of an apartment building when a fire breaks out down the hall. It is during the day around 1:00.Smoke has entered your apartment so itís difficult to see and breathe. The fire has cut off the rest of your floor except for the stairs and two other apartment doors. You are unable to get to the fire stairs outside so you only have time to check/save one thing before you must get to the stair and exit.

Do you:

a) Save your cat of 5 years and exit

b) Check the first apartment to see if the businessman is home.

c) Check the last apartment where a mid 60's couple lives.

d) Ran to the stair alone, leaving your door open in hopes your cat makes it out.

A: e) Save my memory cards and make the awful decision to grab my D drive, but not my C driveÖ


Q: I keep hearing from journalists and friends that the PS2 had a really mediocre launch and hadn't really come into its own software-wise until a year after its launch (as with any console).

What puzzles me about this trend of thought is that I think it had a (dare I say it) great launch line-up. SSX, Madden and NHL were top-tier titles and Midnight Club, Ridge Racer V, Tekken Tag, Smuggler's Run, Ready 2 Rumble Boxing Round 2, Street Fighter EX3, Kessen, Dynasty Warriors 2 and Summoner were pretty good secondary titles. If you don't believe me, take a look at the reviews of all of these games; they all received good to great reviews individually, yet journalists still end up being hypocritical by bashing PS2's launch line-up as a whole.

It was a hell of a lot better than the PSX, Saturn and N64 launches.

A: I felt the same way then that I do now. While the PS2 didnít really have the "killer app" that other launches had (The SNES with Super Mario World, the Genesis with Altered Beast, the Sega Saturn with Virtua Fighter, the N64 with Mario 64, the Dreamcast with Soul Calibur, the Gamecube with Rouge Leader, and the Xbox with Dead or Alive 3) it did have an incredibly solid lineup with a few standout titles. Sure, there were a few real stinkers, but on launch day I still manages to find at least 4 PS2 games worth my hard-earned money, as did most early adaptors. Not to mention that a few days later Dead or Alive 2 Hardcore and Timesplitters hit the shelves. Oh yeah, and letís not forget a little thing like breaking console sales records left and right. While I would admit that it took about a year for the system to really hit its stride (Metal Gear Solid 2, Silent Hill 2, Devil May Cry, Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3, Grand Theft Auto 3, need I go on?) the system didnít get off to as bad a start as some journalists would like you to believe. Iíve always suspected just a hint of jealously over Sonyís unbridled success. Why? Maybe itís that knee-jerk reaction of the "hardcore" to hate all things mainstream, maybe itís something more, who knows? All I know is that regardless of any second guess on the part of the media, The PS2 is the undisputed king of the ring and is set to have a pretty easy reign for the rest of this console generation.


Note: Thereís one in every mailbag, some rabid fanboy incoherently rambling about something or other. Hereís this weeks, exactly as I received itÖ

Q: so where r sony's softwarefor ps2, to answer games like Halo. sony never tried to answer nintendos golden eye. but sony must answer halo.

A: I choose to answer your inquiry this way: what is Microsoftís answer to Grand Theft Auto 3, True Crimes? Thatís PS2 bound as well, so that ainít not kinda answer. How about Medal of Honor Frontline? Trying to scrape together a port of the PC game Medal of Honor Allied Assault? Allied Assault wouldnít even be half as good as Frontline without its online multiplayer aspect? What about Final Fantasy X, or Devil May Cry, or the Stuntman, or the Getaway? Why donít you answer a few of those then Iíll see about getting back to your questionÖ

I hate to sound confrontational, but flames tend to get you that way. Anyway, on to more legitimate questionÖ


Q: Hi there,

I'm a new owner of PS2 and like FPS games, bought MOH and Max Payne.

Problem: after a few minutes playing these games, I get nauseated and get sick like a dog. Is there anybody in this universe that feels the same. I feel miserable and lonely. I don't have any problem with 007, agent under fire or GT3. Any suggestions besides stop playing FPS (haven't touched MGS2, yet)?

A: Some games just hit me in the inner ear as well, usually heightened if Iím playing the game while tired. It usually happens to me after long hours on a first person shooter like Deus Ex, Quake III Arena, or Medal of Honor Allied Assault, but Iíve been known to run into that feeling during long Grand Theft Auto 3 sessions or even a few minutes at a game like Jak and Daxter or Spiderman the Movie. Basically the nausea and dizziness is motion sickness, usually caused by the prospective of the game or an overactive camera, like that found in a game like Medal of Honor Frontline or Max Payne. There are pills you can take to prevent this, but why bother? I like to think of it as natureís way of telling you that you need to turn off the console and get some fresh air. I think that solution might also help the "miserable and lonely" feelings as well, because I doubt that those are a side effect of motion sickness.
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