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Star Wars Jedi Starfighter
Review By:  Adrian V.
Developer:  LucasArts
Publisher:  LucasArts
# of Players:  1-2
Genre:  Action
ESRB:  Teen
Online:  No
Accessories:  Memory Card
Date Posted:  4-24-02

Following this statement is the first and last reference to Star Wars Starfighter, the prequel to Jedi Starfighter, I have any intention of making:

Little, if any, gameplay was altered from the previous title, (*sigh* yes, I can hear you Lucas fan-boys typing away at me about the new ‘force-powers’...I’ll deal with you later) and more than a few references are made in-game to the plot of SWS, but this in no way hampers your ability to understand the events of this game.

Done.

To the four of you who were unaware that Jedi Starfighter is a sequel, this next bit’s for you.

The Game

With the Star Wars: Episode II buzz building steadily into the deafening crescendo of staggering indifference it deserves, Jedi Starfighter lurks onto the scene with all the fanfare of a well-toasted english muffin. Yet again the player finds themselves strapped into the contoured leather bucket seat of a nimble little space vehicle, blasting the living s*** out of beetle-shaped droid ships. And big dragon-fly looking carriers. And awkward spider-like tanks, surrounded by excruciatingly minuscule bipedal droids that closely resemble ants.

Slave 1 also stopped by, but only once.

For most of the game you find yourself thrust into the role of Jedi Master Adi Gallia, apparently the only female Jedi that was necessary as far as George Lucas is concerned. I guess you can have weird, tusk-mouthed Jedi, big asparagus-heads-with-purple-highlights Jedi, and even shriveled green munchkin Jedi. But in the entire galaxy, there’s only one chick with the force. Lucas went ahead and nailed two minority groups in one shot, and made his female Jedi black as well. So now we have Lando ‘Colt 45’ Calrissian, Mace Windu, Adi ‘Love your british accent’ Gallia and that Bespin Security Guard extra they hired so that Billie Dee would have someone to talk to in-between takes while George figured out just how ‘deep south’ he wanted to take the Skywalker ‘master race’ incest sub-plot of episodes 5 and 6. That makes what?...four people in known space the local police can profile? Excuse me sir...does this landspeeder belong to you? And how the hell does Yoda even hold a lightsaber? Does he just take the power cell out and use it as a cane? He’s a frog in a rucksack. *sigh*

While Adi may just be Lucas’ personal ‘Get Out of NAACP Jail’ card for the next flick, she more than shows her capabilities in Jedi Starfighter. Her prototype starcraft is not only one of the most maneuverable in the game, it also allows you to use four different Force Powers. Note the capitalization. The shield is obviously additional defense, and the lightning attack (while generally held to be associated with the Dark Side) can clear out a group of those annoying beetle-ships in one stroke. The other two powers are more difficult to rationalize. One is sort of like a shock-wave, which I have yet to find much use for, and the other is reminiscent of the Max Payne ‘bullet-time’. Essentially, Adi’s reflexes tremendously increase, making the surrounding world run like a slow-mo dream sequence. What’s even more amazing is that somehow her lasers know she’s using the force in this capacity and they nearly triple their firing rate. How does that work? If everything in the universe ‘slows down’, then the laser cannons on Adi’s craft, by virtue of existing in said universe, should slow down as well. This little piece of transitive logic doesn’t hold water in galaxies far, far away though, as demonstrated by this little formula:

X= firing rate
T= flow of time as a constant
X = 1(T)
1(T) / 2 = X/2

That’s how it should work in our reality. The flow of time is cut in half, therefore, the rate of fire must also be reduced by the same amount.

But here’s what happens in the Lucas Universe:

1(T) / 2 = 2(X)

solve for T:

step 1

(1[T]/ 2)2 = (2[X])2

step 2

T = 4(X)

I don’t know how good your algebra is, but X obviously equals super frickin’ fast. QED

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