A crowded arena is filled with a wrestling ring in the shape of a Playstation and millions of gaming folk and wrestling fans eager to get their hands on WWF Warzone. In the upper right-hand corner, an announcer in a tuxedo steps out to the center of the ring as a microphone is lowered to greet him.

Announcer: Welcome ladies and gentlemen. In the right corner is the motto of corporations, the thing that good games are, the opposite of unquality: Quality! In the left corner we have an eagerly anticipated game: W..W..F...WARZONE:

The setting is now a sportscaster box where Phil and Bill are commenting on the match.

Phil: I don't like this matchup Bill. Warzone has a severe disadvantage because programmers tend to make their wrestling games like tourney fighters, making the bulk of the game kicking and punching.

Bill: Fortunately, Phil, WWF Warzone has conquered that little mistake that plagues many wrestling games. Kicking and punching is easily overtaken by a block button. In Warzone, punching and kicking is fine, but what'll win the matches are the fancy throws. What'll definetely make this match is whether Iguana managed to steer clear of the slow moving play that has too many fancy button sequences.

Phil: That problem has hung over most of the 32/64 bit wrestling games thus far.

WWF Warzone manages to get Quality trapped in a corner. Warzone swings his arms two inches away from Quality's head until Quality hands over balanced gameplay.

Bill: It looks like Warzone has triumphed over slow play. Balanced gameplay is sure to make many a gamer happy.

Phil: I think it'll need "fighters" balanced as well.

Warzone sends quality to the ropes and back. Quality falls over just a foot before WWF Warzone. Warzone gains balanced characters.

Phil: Now that everyone will be able to pick their favorite wrestler and contend, will Warzone be able to pull sheer fun from Quality?

Bill: I dunno Phil. Fun is the hardest thing to pull off in a wrestling game.

Phil: But you have to remember that Iguana has pulled out sheer fun in hard to places before. NBA Jam for instance. But I think it'll folly in the extras department.

Warzone takes Quality's leg and pulls it up behind him. Quality acts like he's hurting, even though he isn't. Even so he hands over extras and fun.

Bill: With nice gameplay and the endless fun that gushes from the create a wrestler mode, WWF Warzone is surely a very fun game. And the modes are nearly endless.

Phil: It'll look pathetic.

Nothing happens.

Phil: Well you can't win then all. WWF Warzone is a very fun game, but it's a bit short on graphics and sound on the Playstation.

The millions of fans are impatient. They start storming the ring. Every wrestler is beaten to death by a rabid fan. Quality grabs onto the microphone dangling from the ceiling and slips out through the ceiling.

Bill: Oh no.

Phil: They're coming this way!

Both: Aaagh!!!!!

The end of this review will now substitute for static.

Overall: 7.9